Tuesday, 4 January 2011

Cheesy dreams

After the Christmas binge, it's time to empty the fridge and prepare for the annual January belt tightening. Thank goodness food is generally VAT free so we've momentarily escaped the wrath of the Chancellor.  

With extensive testing by a non-robust sample of testers, I have come to the conclusion that any unpasteurised cheese consumption will lead to the most colourful and creative of dream making. Who needs Leonardo di Caprio in Inception when you have a smelly cheese to hand?

This theory has been endorsed by a British Cheese Board study who claim that 'Eating cheese before you go to bed will not give you nightmares but different varieties could help you choose the dreams you do want to have' and that 'different cheeses appeared to give participants different kinds of dreams'.

'Cheddar enhanced dreams about celebrities. One girl said she dreamt of helping to form a human pyramid under the supervision of film star Johnny Depp. [now there's a reason to eat more cheddar]

Stilton was the wild card, especially for women. Around 85 per cent of women experienced bizarre dreams after eating Britain's iconic blue cheese, including talking soft toys, dinner party guests being traded for camels and a vegetarian crocodile upset because it could not eat children.'

I wonder what a study from the French or Swiss Cheese Boards would come up with... no dreams about vegetarians, that's for sure! I'm going to have some camembert tonight and see what happens.
Anyway, my top cheeses this Christmas were:
1. Tomme Fleurette: Swiss flat round soft cheese. Very oozy tasty and beautiful. My number one this Christmas - go and find some at Kase Swiss in Borough Market
2. Stichelton: British unpasteurised and much tastier version of Stilton. Neals Yard Dairy stocks this 
3. Magic Blue cheese: I can't remember the proper name. '***** Blue' came from Kase Swiss in Borough Market. Unfortunately it was so small and so delicious, it was eaten straight away and the label disappeared but if you ask Kase Swiss, they'll know
4. Vacherin Mont d'Or: French soft cheese from Mons, Borough Market. Apparently the producers have been told to back off the bacteria levels so it's not been as gooey as in the past, but still beautiful
5. Gruyere Alpage: Kase Swiss again and the only 'hard' cheese in my list. This is full of flavour and SOOO much tastier than anything you'll find in the supermarket. Perfect with onion soup.

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